I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
