so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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