Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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