Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
