I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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