He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
