Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
