She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
