i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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