i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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