I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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