Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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