did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
