why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Michael Bay diarrhea
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
