hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
