What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize