I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
