I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
