I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He felt like a one man threesome
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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