I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
