I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
