But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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