Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
