I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
