i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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