The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
