Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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