i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize