yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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