she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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