I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
