You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
