party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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