I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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