i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
