so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
