Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
