dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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