So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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