my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
