it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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