So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
