i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
