update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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