...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
