so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
