remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
