Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
