i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
