Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
