he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
