I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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