Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
