Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
