you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
