Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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