WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i will never coherently bang her
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We're too hungover to prance.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
