when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It was like getting head from an anaconda
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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