karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize