i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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