I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
