I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
