Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
